Their personalities lately have changed. They are really starting to become their own individual. I hope that made sense. They crack me up. Zac is definitely his dad's and Abby is definitely my girl. They have been so good lately. I think they understand that Shawn and I are going through a lot right now. They wanted a little brother or sister, so they are sad about it too.
I imagine I feel it more than everyone else. To me, once I tested positive, I had a connection to the baby. Seeing the heartbeat made it even more real. I've always felt bad for couples who've had miscarriages, but I did not comprehend the depth of their pain until now. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Before, I didn't see early pregnancy as really a baby. I'm not sure that makes sense, but I'm not sure how to describe it at the moment. Now I do see it as a baby. It was alive inside of me growing with its own heartbeat. It was real. We lost our baby.
I read something that has helped me. Here it is: An unborn child is not only a fetus or a “piece of tissue” to God, but is one of His children. Jeremiah 1:5 says that God knows us while we are still in the womb. Shawn and I have talked about it and we know our gummy bear looking baby is in Heaven. I think I've finally accepted that this baby is gone. It hasn't been easy. I pray our relatives in Heaven are taking good care of our baby.
Night Everyone!
~Sam
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Your baby was very much real and alive.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that my angel baby Eleanna was there to welcome them as well.
Big ((hugs)).
I know this may be a little soon, but what are your thought on moving forward as far as IVF. I hope once you are healed you will try again.